In this episode, Cara shares 5 major blocks that might be holding you back from loving your home plus some advice for breaking through them.
She covers topics like comparison, overwhelm, lack of clarity, and more in a fresh new light to help you reframe your mindset and change how you think about your home so you can make it a space you're truly in love with.
what i'm loving this week
Each week, some of my amazing DIY friends and I bring you quick and easy DIY projects that you can knock out in an hour.
We all take turns hosting in our stories on Instagram, and my recent project was to bring some organization to my jewelry with this cute wall hanging organizer!
View this post on Instagram
stuff we just need to talk about
I was totally obsessed with trading spaces as a kid — to me it seemed like magic that they could transform rooms and include often weird and interesting design concepts like crazy bright colors or fun accent walls.
It wasn't until recently that I realized how TERRIBLE the design in some of these spaces was, and its worth a good laugh. Here are 10 fails:
let's talk about it!
What do you think!?
EP 30 TRANSCRIPT
...just in case you wanna read
Cara Newhart: 00:00 You are listening to the MakeSpace podcast, episode number 30.
INTRO: 00:23 Welcome to make space a home design show made to inspire you to create spaces you truly feel at home in Cara Newhart sits down with amazingly brilliant guests for conversations that dive deeper than pin worthy rooms. To tease out the essentials of creating spaces that feed your soul and inspire your creativity from home design strategies to decor, advice to interior design tips and tricks. These conversations help you dream up a beautifully lived in home. Cara is the designer and chief creative enthusiast behind Never Skip Brunch. Her work has been featured in print publications like PEOPLE style watch and Denver style magazine as an influencer. Cara has collaborated with brands like Amazon,H and M, Twitter and Thrillist. Here's your host, Cara Newhart.
Cara Newhart: 01:20 Welcome back. It's Cara and today it's just me behind the mic. I have a topic that I've been thinking about for a while and it's been kind of on my mind to share with you is I was just kind of planning out some content for 2020 I was kind of like reflecting on why I started the podcast and it essentially boils down to that the blog is kind of the hands on DIY diving in, here's how to do it and the podcast is more like mindset, inspiration, let's talk to experts to kind of help give you motivation and advice and tips and tricks for how to dive in and do it. So it was just kind of reflecting on like my goals, which is to teach you to DIY big to design a space you are legitimately in love with and do it on your terms.
Cara Newhart: 02:10 And so while I was thinking about that I was like, well we need to dive in and do an episode on being in love with your home because I think the first layer and something that we cover a lot is like the first way to fall in love with your home obviously is to fill it with things you love instead of things that are trends or things that people are telling you to put in your home. But then if you dive a little bit deeper, I think there's a lot more that goes into this like like having a home filled with individual things that you really love isn't going to add up to a home you love necessarily. So I want to take this a level deeper and today we're going to be talking about five blocks that are holding you back from being in love with your home.
Cara Newhart: 02:53 I think this is really helpful because some of these on the list, the title you might think, Oh man, I've heard that before, but I'm hoping that I give you a fresh perspective and kind of advice that's more specific to your home. And so maybe this will help you love your house more and kind of give you a fresh mindset and some encouragement as you are designing your home or thinking about your home and trying to make it better. Before we dive in, just a friendly reminder that you can connect with me throughout the week between episodes on social media. You can find me, Cara at @neverskipbrunch or you can follow the podcast if you want specific episodes, alerts and updates and all of that @makespacepod
#OBSESSED: 03:47 Hashtag obsessed
Cara Newhart: 03:52 so what I am obsessed with this week is my new jewelry organizer that I made as part of my one hour DIY. So each week some of my amazing DIY friends and I bring you quick and easy DIY projects that you can knock out in an hour. So whether you're new to DIY and you need something simple or you have a crazy schedule with kids and work, whatever it is, this is like super simple one hour projects that you can knock out in an evening or on the weekends. So we all take turns hosting in our Instagram stories. And my recent project was to bring some organization to my jewelry with a really cute wall hanging organizer. Um, you can catch the photo of it in the show notes, but it's basically kind of a shelf and then it's got all these little hooks and then they took corkboard and covered it in cute fabrics and also glued on some Moss.
Cara Newhart: 04:44 Um, because I love plants wherever I can get them. And I love plants that I cannot kill even more. So if you need a quick project and you need some jewelry organization, this might be perfect for you. You can check out the photo in the show notes and then you can hop over my Instagram and I have a story bubble to show you exactly how to make it, all the materials and everything. And then if you have questions just damn me. But it's a pretty good project to get started and it's so cute. I am obsessed.
WAIT, WHAT?!: 05:20 wait, what?
Cara Newhart: 05:24 Okay. So my wait, what for this week is, there's a video I found of top 10 insane treating spaces fails. And this is so funny because I was totally obsessed with trading spaces as a kid. Like to me it seemed like magic that they could transform these rooms and include often like weird and interesting design concepts like crazy bright colors that my mom would never use or fun accent walls. But it wasn't until recently that I realized like how terrible the design in some of these spaces was. And I think probably part of it's obviously looking back, um, you know, it being so long ago that it's like the trends are just totally different. So that probably accentuates it. But there's also some designs that I'm just like, what were you doing? Like that was not executed well. Oh my gosh. And but what's even funnier?
Cara Newhart: 06:22 It's like the homeowners' reaction, and I shouldn't say funnier because if I, if someone redid my space and it was like something I hated and then I was going to have to like now pay to undo it, I would be so upset. But also they're pretty freaking funny. So I hope these people figured it out. I don't know how, but you have to watch this video because some of them are just like what? So I've linked it in the show notes for your viewing pleasure and I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think about this video. You can DM me, you can call the podcast hotline, you can send me an email. I would love to know your thoughts. And as well, if you are obsessed with trading spaces growing up too, and you want to bond over that, you can slide into my DMS about that. That will be perfect.
Cara Newhart: 07:15 Okay. So the first block that is stopping you from being in love with your home is that you are waiting for blank to be happy. Whatever that blank is for you, whether it is to move into a bigger home, to own your home, to get a promotion, to get married till your kids get older, but just the idea that you'll reach some pivotal moment in your life and then happiness will click for you. That is an illusion. Um, this is something that I personally struggled with when I was a new mom. We were living in an apartment at the time and I just had it in my head like through this difficult season of life that like I was going to be able to be happy when we owned a home and we finally like bought our first home. In my head it was like all this hard stuff was stemming from the fact that we were in an apartment and I had to walk upstairs and if we just had like an extra bedroom and more storage or more room or whatever, like that's what would make me happy.
Cara Newhart: 08:13 But that's not the truth because then you know what happened? We bought our first home and then in my head it was now there was a new problem and the problem was our yard was small. We had the side yard that's like 10 feet wide by 60 feet wide. So in my head it was then, okay, well we buy our forever home, I'm going to finally be happy. But the reality is that finding happiness in your home means finding joy in this season of life that you're in right now and making sure your home reflects and supports you in the season. So whether that's simple things like storage solutions, so you don't have to trip over a thousand little shoes on your way inside design elements like furniture or throws or artwork that are going to create a vibe in your space that helps you unwind from work or gives you a place to study, sort of break through this block.
Cara Newhart: 09:08 You have to think through this season of life you're in right now and list out some of the things about your home that you love because they really work for you in this season. And then with that same mindset of gratitude and things you love, dive into the other side and think about things you could change and they can be small. Um, but things in your home that would better serve you in this stage of life. And you guys, the key here is not to look at these things that you would change as flaws, but these are opportunities for you to make your home truly yours and make sure it's supporting your family. So the things that you're changing is just taking it from a home to your home and changing things that are going to help you be happier in your home. So if you feel like this is your block, I would definitely kind of go through that exercise.
Cara Newhart: 09:58 And then you could also hop over to episode 20 where I sat down with Liz Marie Galvan because we dive deeper into finding happiness in your home in different seasons of life. Um, it's very interesting cause we both had similar struggles but on opposite ends of the spectrum. Um, I won't spoil it too much for you, but she was in a season of life where all her friends surrounding her were having children and she wasn't. And then my struggle was I was a young mom, so all the friends around me were not having kids and I was, so we talk a little bit about that and she shares some advice for finding happiness and being in love with your home regardless of what stage of life you're in. Um, and it's really, really good. So the second block that is stopping you from being in love with your home is that your comparing?
Cara Newhart: 10:49 So okay, everyone does this, right? Even though we know it's pointless and often destructive to our happiness. But I was reading an article that kind of changed my mindset on the whole comparison trap thing and I will link it in the show notes, but I really like this quote and it says we do this even when comparisons aren't meaningful, even when they make us unhappy, even when they don't actually make us better, smarter or more productive human beings. And I feel like we hear this all the time, especially in reference to social media. Like don't compare your everyday life to somebody else's highlight reel and we'll just make you unhappy. Like, okay, we know like we know not to do that. So here's the deal. I'm not going to tell you to stop comparing yourself or comparing your home to other people's home because that is useless advice.
Cara Newhart: 11:43 And the reason why is because we have a fundamental need as humans to compare ourselves. We literally are wired to understand ourselves and to evaluate ourselves. And the only way to do that is to compare ourself to something else or someone else. So telling you to stop comparing your home to somebody else's home is not helpful advice. But what we can do is channel that tendency to compare into something more productive. So let's just break this down. When we are sitting there and we're comparing our house to somebody else's or doing essentially one of two things. One, we are trying to figure out how good ours actually is. And two, we are trying to make ourselves feel better about our homes. So for number one, when we're comparing to see how good our home is, we're comparing other people's homes to ours to find out ways we could improve.
Cara Newhart: 12:40 So basically we're using them like a benchmark to understand how our homes could be made better. So one example of this would be looking at a photo of someone's living room and thinking, wow, I really love that accent wall. It looks way better than the boring wall in my living room. Maybe I should do a similar one in my room and judge things up. So this type of comparison you guys is normal and essential. It's the core of inspo like drawing inspiration and it's the way we go out and find amazing ideas to bring back into our homes and make our homes even more amazing. Then the second motivation is to try to make ourselves feel better about our homes. An example of this, and we've all done it, would be looking at like a bedroom that someone has shared and thinking, Oh, I don't like that.
Cara Newhart: 13:31 The decor looks cheesy. It's not cohesive and my bedroom looks way better than that. So in this situation, we're looking at other people's homes to help build us up, like build up our sense of self and even appreciation of our own home. We do this in other areas too of our lives. Like we compare our noses or hair or hips to others and we judged theirs, um, to help us feel better and build up our sense of self. So this you guys is the kind of comparison that gets us into trouble. It's the kind that makes us feel crappy and inadequate and unhappy with our homes because we're looking to be better than someone. So we're looking around or critiquing and we're saying I'm better than that. So now I can feel good about me. But then when we find someone's space that we think is better than ours, it makes us miserable because it doesn't lift us up.
Cara Newhart: 14:28 It makes us feel like crap. So instead of telling you not to compare your home to others, I'm going to tell you to be more self aware of how you're comparing. So are you comparing for evaluation and inspo to make your home better or are you comparing to boost your self esteem and make yourself feel better about your house? Because that's really the way to break through this block is not to try to stop comparing because that's not going to happen. It's going to be being a little more self aware of why you're comparing and making sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Okay? The third block that is stopping you from being in love with your home is that you haven't made your home a priority. So this is kind of a hard truth, but you are not going to love your home if you don't spend time creating a home you're in love with, and it's a hard truth because I totally know that schedules are crazy.
Cara Newhart: 15:27 Whether you're a student with a packed calendar or a mom that works full time comes home with just enough time to make dinner, get everyone to bed and watch an episode of some reality TV. Finding that time to invest in your home can be such a challenge. But here's the deal. You have to make it a priority because taking time to create a space that really works for you. I mean on every level from the function to the feeling that it gives you is going to make your life better. This is literally like another version of self care. It's not just about bubble baths in face mask you guys like caring and pouring into your home on the days you have. Energy means that the days that you don't, in the days that you're down, your home is going to be able to be there to take care of you, which is like sounds kind of weird, but it's true.
Cara Newhart: 16:19 Just like a tiny example of this is if you have a day where you're feeling energetic and motivated, you clean your house, you get all the clutter away and then you come down sick the next day will now your home is there to serve you because it's clean, it feels relaxing. You have a space that's going to help you rest and get better. So to make your home a priority, you have to carve out time to work on it and think about it and think about how to make it better. You might not have like a daily DIY project you're cranking out like I am. Like if you watch my Instagram, I know that it looks overwhelming because I'm always doing something like every morning or waking up and I'm like, today I'm working on this. Today I'm working on this. Like you have to understand that's my job.
Cara Newhart: 17:03 Like it's not like I go to work all day at the office and then I come home and I'm doing that every day. Like understand that we're probably doing things differently when it comes to that, but you should have a plan and you should be devoting time to making your home a place that you'd love to live. Sit down and list out the things you love and hate about your home and go back through that list and put them in order of priority. Is there something that really bugs you that you really just need to jump into first? Once you know like what you need to work on, you can then break everything down. Those priorities, break them down into more specific plan. For example, you put that you hate your living room on your list, you made it priority number one because it's always a mess and it's frumpy.
Cara Newhart: 17:53 So now when you create a plan, we're sitting down, we're thinking, okay, how am I going to add storage? I need to get a new chair and I'm going to create a gallery wall so we have things we want to do. And then once you have those schedule out time in your calendar for each little task, I mean like tiny task and start chipping away little by little. So like I need to go shopping for frames for the gallery wall. I need to hang up the gallery wall like every little little task. So my tip for breaking through this block is to schedule out time on your calendar to think about your home, plan your home, and do tasks in your home. Because the reality is like you can think in your head like my home is a big priority for me. But if you're not spending time or scheduling out time to work on it, then it's really not a priority. And that's why you're not in love with your home because you haven't invested the time to make it a place you love.
Cara Newhart: 18:53 We'll be right back to the episode in just a second, but first an important word from our sponsor. This episode is sponsored by the make space podcast hotline. You can call the number to leave a voice message and if we choose to answer your question on the show, we will play your recording and give you a shout out. It is your chance to be on the FOD cast, so the number for the hotline is (720) 319-7438 I would love if you called in and left me a voicemail, whether it's just thoughts about the show, words of encouragement or if you just want to ask questions that you'd like me to answer, I would love to hear from you. Here's a little sneak peek of what you'll hear when you called the hotline.
Speaker 5: 19:40 Hello. Please state your name after the tone and Google voice will try to connect to you.
Cara Newhart: 19:46 Kara Newhart.
Speaker 5: 19:55 Hey, it's Kara and you've reached the main space dot gas. Leave the question, do you want me to answer after the beep? And I might even teach you them on an upcoming episode. Can't wait to see what you think.
Cara Newhart: 20:09 Alternatively, if you're an introvert and you're like talking on the phone, sounds terrible. Not going to do that. Um, you could also send me an [email protected] and share your feedback. Okay. And now back to the episode. Okay. The next block that you might be facing when it comes to loving your home, number four is that you don't have clarity on what you want. So Pinterest, you guys is like the best thing to happen to us in terms of unlimited inspo at our fingertips. But this comes the cost of being overwhelmed with ideas and not knowing what you want. There's just so many possibilities of so many ways you could do things like for example, a wooden accent wall. There's a bajillion ways to do it like geometric up and down, regular shiplap skinny lap. What color do we want to paint it? Do you want to add X, Y, Z?
Cara Newhart: 21:08 Like tons and tons of ways. So not only is it hard to sift through all the inspo and figure out what you like, but also defining your style is challenging because your style is something that's going to change and grow with you over time. It's not something that you choose once and you're set for the rest of your life. Like that's not how it works. Because every time there's a new trend or a new phase, like you have to look at it and be like, does this align with my style? If it does, we're going to jump on it. If it doesn't, we're going to ignore it. And the way you do that, like the metric that we're using to assess everything of like isn't my style or not, is to learn why you like what you like. So when you find a space that speaks to you, like one of those photos where you're like, I love everything about this, like everything, try to break that down and learn why you're so drawn to it.
Cara Newhart: 22:03 Is it the color palette? Is it textures? Is it the natural light? Is it the furniture? Um, so a perspective that I've really found helpful on this is to leverage your natural tendencies or natural like personality to help give yourself clarity on what you like. So what this means is when we hear like the phrase define your style, we usually think of getting super specific about what we like. Like we are going to have all the details written down, descriptive words, et cetera. But that's not necessarily true for everyone. And this is kind of a breakthrough that I had personally that I want to share with you. And that is like while some people are detail oriented and love focusing on the specifics, others like me are more big picture and do better with high level inspo like thinking about the overall look we want the room to have versus which white vase best matches our style.
Cara Newhart: 23:04 So if you're getting hung up on the details and you're not a detail person, that could be why you're struggling to know what you want or define your style. So my tip for breaking through this block is to do a little self-assessing and figure out if you're a more detailed person or a big picture thinker, and then leverage that to help you get clarity on your style. So if you like details, you might be able to clearly and descriptively define your style. But for people like me, it's more of a vibe. Like I cannot tell you 10 descriptive words that describe my style. That's going to take me a lot and I'm going to need visuals to make that make sense to me. So the way I do this is I have a vibe board on Pinterest where I pin things that fit my aesthetic and the vibe I'm going for in my house.
Cara Newhart: 23:56 So for me, this is actually a lot of coffee shops, oddly enough. And then I go back through and I look for patterns. So in my board I see lots of greenery on the walls. There's a lot of black accents, there's a lot of like exposed brick and like wood tones. So bam, there's the details of my style. I didn't have to sit down and brainstorm which adjectives I'm using. I like create this vibe board where everything, all the images are very cohesive, they fit together and then I look for those patterns and those patterns are my details. So if you're a detail person, you just keep on going with all your nitty gritty details and I'm sure you could probably do a similar thing with a Pinterest board to help you like really clearly define your style. I like using visuals versus trying to write down words because visuals just makes more sense.
Cara Newhart: 24:49 Like that is what you're going for. So that's why Pinterest is really good. But if you are a big picture thinker, non detailed person like me, hopefully you just had an aha moment where I may be lifted some weight of like, Oh I don't know how to define my style. I don't know what I like. Now you just know like here's how to define it and that's just collect images of things you like and then look for patterns and your style is defined for you basically. Okay. And then the final block, block number five that might be stopping you from loving your house is that you're overwhelmed. So looming projects, unfinished to do list can totally have you falling out of love with your home, but they can also feel like so big and so intimidating that you don't even know where to start when it comes to creating a gorgeous stress free space, much less how to start tackling that nightmare of a room and just like getting it to a baseline of clean, not even like gorgeous and amazing.
Cara Newhart: 25:52 So here's my process for breaking through the overwhelm because I have a lot of this in my life. You guys like a lot. And I don't know, I think it's just cause I have so many ideas and not enough time. So I need my ideas out where I can see them in the form of physical objects that pile up places. And then when I organize them, I can't see things. I don't remember what I was doing. So maybe that's just me. But, um, anyway, so I've kind of had to develop a process for getting through the overwhelm because there's a lot of it that I'm dealing with. Number one is to give yourself grace because there can be so much guilt around the things we haven't accomplished and the things that we have let loom for weeks or even months or even years, but be kind to yourself and you guys proud of yourself because the things that aren't getting done, like there's other stuff getting done right?
Cara Newhart: 26:49 Like you're not doing nothing and so that means you're focusing more on the more important things. So, so what if you couldn't get to it all? Like as long as you get the important things done, like as long as for me it's like as long as I'm spending time with my family and my child is fed and happy, like who cares if certain areas of the house are a wreck? You know, like I just didn't get to them cause I was doing the important things. So change your mindset instead of this is what I didn't get done. It's like look what I did accomplish. And give yourself a little grace. And then number two is like the simplest tip ever, but it totally changes the game and it's to just start, get it out of your head that you have to tackle the big looming room or project and have it finished in one day.
Cara Newhart: 27:36 Just jumping in and doing some thing is going to help you get over that hump and take the project from the overwhelming and unfinished category to the in progress category, which can do wonders for you mentally because instead of like, Oh, I need to do that and I haven't even started and there's so much to do, it's like I'm working on it. Like, no, it's not done, but I'm working on it, you know? And then my third piece of advice is just do a little at a time. So this is one of the best pieces of advice I heard and I actually had two guests talk about this. Um, number one was Tracy on episode 25 and then Becky also shared about it on episodes 27 and 28, but basically the idea is just break big looming tasks down into smaller actionable steps, which you guys sounds so simple, like so simple.
Cara Newhart: 28:33 But where it clicked for me was to do even smaller steps. So if you have a garage that is jam packed and overwhelming, tell yourself you're going to set a timer for 30 minutes and start with this one bin and just see what you get done. And then once that 30 minutes is up, you can keep going. If you've got momentum or you can stop if you've got something else to do, 30 minutes is all the time you have for today. Um, then do another bin on the next day. And so you're just chipping away until it's finished. I think Tracy's example was like when you're hanging curtains, don't think, don't put hanging curtains on the list. Put, okay, I need to shop for curtains, I need to order the curtains, I need to get the hardware, I need to like all the little things. And then finally one day you're hanging the curtains ironing, like whatever it is.
Cara Newhart: 29:26 But it's not one thing. It's now five tiny or tinier steps. So if you have things that feel overwhelming and feel huge and looming that you haven't tackled, it's probably because it looks like a big project. And in your brain you're looking at it and you're like, I can't get that done today. So I'm not going to start. But if you break it down into tiny, tiny steps, you can do one of those today. Like you can't do all of them but you can do one. And so that's how you like slice into the looming stuff and you move it from the unfinished unstarted category to the am working on it category, which is most things in my life, like there's not a lot done but a lot that like I'm working on it. So anyway, I hope you guys that these were really helpful in giving you some insight because I love so much talking about the fun stuff of like design and like what we can put in our house and how to choose things you love in dif, like find your style and all of that.
Cara Newhart: 30:28 But that stuff is not as helpful to you if you're kind of stuck in one of these blocked areas of stuff that's not letting you love your house. Because if you're not like having good feelings about your house, then you're not to want to work on it. You're not going to want to think about design in how it could be cute and how you could make it better. If you're just stuck in a place of like, I don't like it and I don't love it here, then you can get like stuck in a cycle, um, of not being happy in your home. And so I don't think any amount of design advice or tips and tricks is really gonna help you break out of that. So that's why I just wanted to sit down today with this episode and hopefully help you break through these blocks cause I feel like pushing through a lot of these is the first step before we can really move into the design stuff.
Cara Newhart: 31:19 So if you've been feeling stuck or unmotivated, hopefully in this episode there is kind of an aha moment for you where you heard something and you were like, Oh, that's it. That's what's holding me back and that's what I need to change. So spend some time getting it together, breaking through that block because you deserve to be in love with your home and loving your home is what's going to motivate you to care for it, make it better, and make it a place that's going to love you back, which is so cheesy, but so freaking true. Thanks for pushing play today, you guys, I am so honored that you meet me here each week and tune in. Um, it's just amazing that you let me into your life and let me give you my advice and inspo I'm truly honored. I'm specifically honored seeing how much the podcast is growing.
Cara Newhart: 32:11 It blows me away each week. How many more people are tuning in. So welcome. If you are a newer listener, if you're an OJI, um, I'm excited you're back. I'm excited. You've stuck around for so long. Some exciting stuff. I'm going to be launching some premium content soon, which I am beyond pumped about. So that's coming up. But just take a second. If you tuned into this episode or an episode before this and you like got something out of it, I would love if you left a little review. So whether that's just taking a minute to write something you liked or just scrolling down on the podcast app and giving it some stars. If you're lazy, I feel you, that's fine. But I would be so grateful if you would do that. It helps other people find the podcast and it helps them know kind of what's up and what we're doing here. Um, if you really resonated with this episode and there's a friend that you're like, man, she needs to hear this, or your mom or your cousin or just someone you think it would help. It would be so cool if you sent them a link so they could also tune in. Sharing is caring. I hate that phrase but do share if you feel so inclined. Anyway, I need more coffee at this point so I'm going to sign off and I will talk to you guys next week.
Cara Newhart: 33:36 If you're not following me on social media, you should be because that's where all the fun happens between episodes. You can find me, Kara and to my blog at never skipped brunch and then if you want to connect with a podcast to get new episode notifications and podcast specific news in your feeds, you can find the podcast at make space pod. Thank you so much for listening and tuning in. If you are a longtime listener or a new listener with a couple episodes under your belt, I would love if you left a review. Just scroll down in your podcast app and give us some stars, or take a second and just read a couple of lines about what you love about the podcast. This helps other listeners find us and get into all this goodness and I would super, super appreciate it. Okay. Have a good week.
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